#also the division of 'whats wrong with reading a novel you asshole

[tamaharu]

okay ive rested eaten and have my laptop and i still have THOUGHTS

like, its obvious to anyone whos read far enough into orv that kdj doesnt like talking about or acknowledging his own distress. however, this isnt a hard and fast rule. hes more willing to speak about hurt when it isnt actively happening to him and when it is something he finds a "normal" trauma.

early on, when we're first introduced to him in the prologue, hes willing to touch on the Kim Dokja Background Cringe Compilation: "I have been steadily reading this novel since the third year of middle school. Even when I was bullied by the delinquents at my school, even when I had to enter a third-rate, local university since I cred up my entrance exams, even when I was assigned to a military unit at the frontlines since the damn military draft lottery went wrong, and even now, working as a contractor for a large subsidiary, still without a full-time job..." like, cool story bro, thanks for walking us through your traumas. however, as he reaches the present, he finishes off by going: "...damn it, let's stop thinking about this. Anyway."

additionally, when he's talking to yoo sangah in ch1, hes fully willing to commiserate with her about how, "It seems like just yesterday, but the contract period is already over." when they remember that this is not something ysa is going through as well, he switches on a dime. he feels incredibly dismal about his life (describing a feeling of dissociation from the world) but distracts ysa from this with congratulations and platitudes.

just from these early examples, we can show that kdj is not necessarily opposed to talking about his own distress, but the second it seems to hit too close to home, or appears irregular to a common experience, he shies away from it.

by ch76, hes done a small amount of set-up to the introduction to his mother, which is something that is incredibly distressing to him even in the present, AND its not exactly a common experience to have the kind of dynamic with his mother that he does. this is something he STRONGLY avoids thinking about, only acknowledging her in small bursts, usually when forced. (the fog that shows everyone some sort of trauma, when he has to eat the crystals to escape monsters in the third main scenario and it sends him to a mental prison).

the most he's willing to acknowledge the truth of his mother (prior to the incident with the fourth wall, which changes the truth and their dynamic of that day to a large degree) is after his conversation with her a little bit before peaceland. he talks to ysa about it, however he opens with: "I took a deep breath before saying with exaggerated tone. “My mother killed my father.” Strangely, my words sounded ridiculous. I spoke like it was someone else’s story." when he starts talking about the book, ysa assumes that hes changing topics very suddenly. and when he finishes, he mentions that he feels a "sense of victory" over the fact that ysa cant relate to this situation, and sweeps it under the rug by telling her: "I'm sorry. It was a joke." this is an incident that is both actively fucking him up, and something he knows isnt normal. when forced to confront it, he allows himself to tell the truth as he understands it, but continues to shy away from it by detaching himself from the story and pretending like it was something he made up afterwards.

kdj doesnt like to acknowledge his own internal hurt. hes willing to recite a list of troubles, but doesnt want to delve into how they actually made him feel without some sort of wall protecting him (hello fourth wall!) its easier to externalize a narrative than it is to feel a narrative. thats why kdj detaches himself from his story about his mother, and thats why kdj allows himself to achieve revenge against song minwoo. by overcoming the shaking of the fourth wall.

now, ive been talking a lot about how hes willing to acknowledge trauma if it feels like a common experience, and i think the example with ysa about company contracts proves this well enough, but he explicitly says this when talking to han sooyoung before he destroys song minwoo: ""...Do you know that bastard? [...] I'm sorry. I didn't want to hear it, but the words he said to you..."

[...] "Yes, I know him. [...] That bastard. He is [a normal] trauma."

"...[What is a normal] trauma? A trauma is serious."" while rainbow turtle's translation refers to this as "obviously a trauma," and an "obvious trauma," its more fitting for him to call it a "normal trauma," as in a trauma that is just soooo normal. whats more normal of a trauma than being bullied as a high schooler? and since its normal, even if it still hurts him, its totally fine and easy to overcome. its normal, so hes willing to admit it exists in the first place.

he mentions that, "Whenever I looked at this guy's face, I felt the '17 year old Kim Dokja' inside me shrink back. Poor thing. From now on, I would get revenge for 'him.' [...] The 17 year old Kim Dokja was watching me in my memories." he dissociates himself from the person who was hurt. he expresses his hurt onto an outside force. its even a normal trauma, what more do you want!

its only when he has to link his hurt unto himself without pretense that he refuses to do so. (i cant find the passage but) when he sees a notebook detailing 15yo kdjs memories in his mind palace, he throws it into the dark. when he meets od, he tries to kill od. then tries to kill himself via memory linkage. he refuses to acknowledge the context in which he stumbled upon ways of survival. these things are actively hurting him. they are in his face. they are impossible to be distanced from. they are not "normal." and thus, they are undeserving of acknowledgement or, if forced to acknowledge them, they are undeserving of sympathy.

i just think its interesting.

its interesting, one of the only times kim dokja is willing to stick up for and be kind to his younger self is in his fight against song minwoo at ch76. by song minwoo being a force of violence both in the past and in the present, it allows kdj the opportunity to indulge in sympathizing with his younger self without commiting to vulnerabilities the way his other exchanges require. its easier to get revenge for an obvious wrong committed by an outside force than it is to care for your younger self without distraction.

[x0401x]

hiii so i was going through the VE tag and saw your posts about how much you dislike anime gilbert compared to novel gilbert; im so confused though about how you said he was shallow and a dick because i didn't get that vibe when i was watching? i liked the anime gilbert, and then when i read the novel, i just liked him even more. but it didnt make me hate the anime version. so i just wanted a breakdown of what anime gilbert did so wrong, thank you!

Okay, this sure took up a lot of time to reply to, so I’m sorry for answering so late! I tried to keep it simple, so keep in mind that there’s a lot more to unpack from anime-novel comparissons when it comes to VE. I just didn’t want to turn this into an essay, because that’s what it would’ve become otherwise.

I’ve broken down five main reasons why anime!Gilbert is an asshole if you put him side-by-side with novel!Gilbert. And I want first to stress out that I know the intention of the adaptation wasn’t to make him an asshole at all. The studio really seemed to believe they were doing it right, but it turned out as the same old “so close yet so far” thing. The director did say before that he had made changes to the original because the source material was “too righteous and orthodox”, so I guess novel!Gilbert was one of the “too righteous and orthodox” things that he deemed in need of alterations. Apparently, loving someone way above yourself is just not realistic if you’re a man and the other person is a woman (totally okay if it’s the other way around, though).

Anyway, here are the main negative points about anime!Gilbert (long post in-coming):

He only ever did the bare minimum for Violet.

KyoAni is hellbent on insisting, not just in the anime but also in episode summaries, the starter book and the official fanbook, as well as other medias, that Violet loved Gilbert because he was the “first person to be nice to her”. It makes me want to rip my hair off, because this means it could’ve been anyone. The novel states time and time again that it was fate, because Gilbert was the only character in the VE universe who would watch this monster-child brutally murder five men and still take her blood-covered hand and try to protect her. She was a kid being led to commit crimes by fucked-up adults, and even though there was a chance she might kill him too, he still wanted her to live, because she was ultimately innocent. He also wasn’t just “nice” to her. He tried to defend her from his brother for real. The hotel scene is actually very important and not having it takes away a lot of Gilbert’s weight in Violet’s life.

Other than that, he wasn’t shown doing even half the stuff he did for her in the novels. He constantly protected her from harassment, threw shade at any lesser officer who badmouthed her, tried to make it so that she wouldn’t have to risk herself too much during battle, often attempted to convince her into less reckless stunts, and was always the first and only one to rush to her aid. He personally took her meals to her bedroom and ate with her, arranged for her to have a room for herself, took her shopping for civilian clothes so that she could wear them after the war, and requested that her personal needs were seen by officers from the female division. He quit smoking because it made her cough, gave her his old clothes to wear when she grew out of her pajamas, took care of her whenever she fell ill from overworking, and the list goes on.

All of this aside, I think the most important was that he was always trying to bring out the human side of her. He was always testing out her interests in mundane things, and always wishing that she would show signs of having a personality. It didn’t have to be girly stuff; anything that didn’t have to do with him was fine. He often tried to instigate the humanity in her, because she was unquestionably human to him despite not knowing what being human even meant, and this is the most essential part of Gilbert in the Great War arc.

He didn’t care about her that much.

I know this might seem like a drastic claim. I mean, he did show that he cared for her, just not nearly enough, and quite certainly not as much as he cared about himself.

It starts with the fact that he let her into the military simply because his brother had already told everyone about her. Anime!Gil didn’t see her kill five people in that hotel. All that happened was Dietfried throwing at him the vaguest-ever argument that “this isn’t a child; it’s a weapon”. Like... that was literally all it took for him to send a ten-year-old amnesic, orphan girl who couldn’t understand the local language to a war that had been dragging itself on for several decades. In the men’s troops, no freaking less.

The eptome of anime!Gil’s fake selflessness is when he gets shot at the end of the war. When Violet takes him by the arm, he just... lets her carry him. She gets shot and shit, and she could very well have died (anyone explain to me how they managed to hit him in the head but not her even though they were walking so slowly), but he still clung onto her. He literally put his own life above hers.

A++++ parenting.

He was dry with her most of the time.

In the novel, Violet and Gilbert have a bond of respect and trust. In the anime, this bond is wholly one-sided. We don’t see this respect or trust from Gil’s perspective, and neither do we see any bigger signs of affection other than occasional guilty faces that show him regretting something, but don’t exactly make clear what it is. Does he feel guilty that he took her to war? If so, then he contradicts himself during certain moments. He literally thanks her for “always fighting so well” at one point and only refrains from finishing the sentence because he sees the bruises on her neck. Meanwhile, while novel!Gil asserts that she should have former recognition for her deeds (like ranks, medals and people’s well-earned respect), she should also not be in the battlefield at all because she’s just a child and constantly berates himself for keeping her there.

The dedication and devotion to her is also basically all gone. We don’t see him vowing to raise her as someone worthy of a flower goddess’s name, we don’t see him doing his best to make this happen, and we don’t see it happening until Violet is out of the hospital. Novel!Violet had a fame of grim reaper, witch and god of war because she was an extremely fierce and skilled killer. Anime!Violet is all over the place when she fights, slamming rifles into people’s faces and choosing hand-to-hand combat instead of having the common sense to fire the weapon she’s holding. There’s no such rumors about her other than that she’s “dangerous”, and she’s always injured, with her hair perpetually disheveled. She’s an absolute mess, making it impossible to forget for a single minute that she’s just a little girl being made to serve in the frontlines, and yet anime!Gil still pulls bullshit like “you fought good”.

He abandoned her to sheer luck.

As if the fake grave weren’t bad enough, he apparently offed to the woods without giving much of a fuck about her. In the novel, we see that Gil keeps aiming for higher positions in the military and to have as much power as he can so that he’ll have all the means possible to protect her. He might have been contacting Hodgins in the meantime, but this isn’t nearly enough to ensure her safety.

There’s a lot he had to do when it comes to Violet. Covering up her identity and making sure nobody tried to use her for killing ever again are examples. He also needed to be ready for whenever he had to go for her rescue, like in the case of the hijackin, so staying in the army was of utter importance. It was also important to show that this was a sacrifice he did for her, because all his responsibilities were pushed onto him due to Dietfried running away from them.

He is portrayed as being the complete opposite of her.

You might be wondering what this has to do with anything. It’s very obvious in the novel that Violet and Gilbert are mirrors in the novel. This also has to do with the fate thing: they’re basically one soul dwelling in two bodies. The two had keenly similar life stories where they went through different situations that were actually alike in essence and brought out the same results. This is basically the reason why Gil empathizes so hard with Violet and why he’s so insistent in allowing her to experience what he didn’t get to have. It’s not because he’s “righteous and orthodox”. It’s because he sees himself in her. She’s him, and he’s her. They’re one and the same at the core. But apparently a guy relating so much with a girl isn’t realistic either.

This is it (or more like a condensed version of it)! I hope it cleared things up.

[nadziejastar]

I know u like Isa and Lea, but did you enjoy any other of the Nobodies? Their personalities?

Oh yeah. I pretty much liked all the Organization. They just never got developed that much. Heck, even Lea and Isa never got their whole backstory shown and are still underdeveloped as characters. Which is sad. I found the Organization politics so interesting, too. It’s why I became kind of obsessed with the weapons in 358/2 Days. They had such specific names, shapes and colors that I knew they HAD to have some secret deeper meaning. And since BBSV2 was cancelled, I knew that we were most likely NEVER going to learn about what those secrets were. But I wanted to figure it out to learn more about them…all of them.

For instance, Luxord is so cool, yet he’s a total mystery. I like his demeanor and how he was sad when he lost half the poker league in Days. He never truly seemed like a bad guy, either. It’s a shame that we may never get to learn more about him. I’m sure there was stuff to be revealed about him. He was one of Nomura’s favorites, after all. There’s no way I can see him joining the Seekers of Darkness willingly. I think he was always supposed to be in the New Organization, but for a different reason than KH3 gives. Well, KH3 didn’t actually give one, but whatever. I think he wasn’t there willingly, and that’s why he was so happy when Sora defeated him and freed his heart.

I would have loved to learn more about Lexaeus, too. He didn’t seem to be thatbad. He was tending to Even and Dilan after they woke up. And I think he genuinely wanted to help Lea when he was looking for Isa. He seemed like he might have felt guilty about everything that happened. And somewhat concerned when Lea said he was going to go look for them. Ienzo and Lexaeus were rather low-ranking members. Lea seemed tolerate them in a way I doubt he would have with Braig, for instance.

What on earth was happening within the hearts of my six beloved apprentices? While pursuing the mystery of the darkness of the heart, could they themselves have strayed into its depths?

Speaking of Braig…I love Xigbar. He’s such a smug and unapologetic asshole. But he’s so cool at the same time. He always seems like he’s having so much fun. I really hated how it was revealed that he was Luxu because I thought Braig was such an interesting villain. He was just an ordinary guard and apprentice. Probably not a very nice guy, but not actively harming anyone, either. Ansem the Wise cared about all of his apprentices and trusted them. Even Braig. Then Xehanort comes along and offers him power. The Keyblade. And that’s all it takes to turn him into such a monster.

Day 355: Mind

The gears of Xemnas’ plans have begun to spin wild since the loss of half our membership at Castle Oblivion. The results are there, but can this state of affairs fairly be called a success? If Kingdom Hearts can be said to possess a mind of its own, it is surely rejecting Xemnas—no, rejecting Xehanort. Roxas left the Organization today.

He knows full well that Xehanort wants to access Kingdom Hearts and pretty much end the world as we know it. And he doesn’t give a DAMN. This entry is entitled “Mind”. Xigbar talks about Kingdom Hearts having a mind of its own, and rejecting Xehanort. He is aware that what Xemnas is doing is wrong.

And this doesn’t seem to be the first time he has pondered something having a mind of its own, either. The mind of Kingdom Hearts rejects Xehanort. The whole concept is quite similar to the way they tried to get the mind to renounce its sense of self, so that the vessel couldn’t reject Xehanort’s heart. I definitely think this was a subtle reference to the mind control experiments.

Xigbar: Man, does that Xehanort scare me like nobody’s business, the way he can see into minds. And it doesn’t help that no one knows what it is that the old man wants. I wonder if even you know what’s going on inside your own head.

I believed him when he said that Xehanort scared him. He doesn’t know what Xehanort is really after by causing the Apocalypse (we never get to learn either). But he goes along with him for his own selfish reasons. I was very disappointed that Xigbar’s personality was revealed to be Luxu putting on an act the whole time. No, I simply refuse to accept that.

Then the seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared to sound them. The first angel sounded his trumpet, and there came hail and fire mixed with blood, and it was hurled down on the earth. A third of the earth was burned up, a third of the trees were burned up, and all the green grass was burned up.

—Revelation 8:6-7

I admit, I couldn’t help but laugh when I read the KHwiki descriptions for some of the characters’ Mystery Gear weapons, which are said to draw forth the wielder’s personality. These were clearly meant to tell you something important about each of them. The wiki description for Xigbar’s Trumpet said that it may be a reference to his tendency to “toot his own horn”.

I think the trumpet had FAR more significance than that. The trumpet is a symbol. It’s the harbinger of the Apocalypse, to be exact. Xigbar and Xemnas are the only ones with Biblical references in their weapons. Even the concept of 7 Lights and 13 Darknesses is mostly Biblical in origin.

Seven is the number of completeness and perfection, both physical and spiritual. It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things. There are 7 days in a week and God’s Sabbath is on the 7th day. The Bible, as a whole, was originally divided into 7 major divisions. The number 13 is symbolic of rebellion and lawlessness. 13 represents all the governments created by men, and inspired by Satan, in outright rebellion against the Eternal.

Ruler of the skies, protector of the stars, the Ultima Weapon will appear and destroy any threat it perceives. It has shot down countless airships, man’s means to reach the heavens. The stars align against us…

Final Weapon is another apocalyptic reference. Its design is based on the Ultima Weapon from FFVII. And we know how fond Nomura is of that game. I am quite fond of it, too. The Ultimate Weapon of Final Fantasy VII is one of the five Weapons created by the planet as a defense mechanism. It was released from its slumber in the North Crater after Sephiroth summons a giant meteor in an attempt to bring about the Apocalypse.

Then there’s Cupid’s Arrow, which is green, possibly as a reference to the Heart chakra. We all know who Cupid is. He shoots people with arrows and they fall in love. However, Cupid also has a devious side. His gold-tipped arrows are what link people in love. However, he can fire lead-tipped arrows, which cause people to feel indifference or hatred. This side of Cupid is not very well-known. As for Xigbar’s weapon, the bullets produce dark sparks on contact with enemies and gold ones on contact with anything else. Hmm.

Recollections

Am I alive? I awoke in a cell, alone until the researchers came with their tests and their prodding to uncover my identity. I had no answer to offer them. Four friends, and a key…that is the sum total of my memory. I could not even recall my name. I was simply called “X” there. My only solace was the time I spent talking with the two boys who would visit from time to time. One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch. Even now, years on, I feel no closer to understanding who or what I am.May my heart be my guiding key.

—Unknown

I make it no secret that I think Isa was originally Subject X. And who is the last person Subject X remembers before their memory cuts off? Braig. Wouldn’t surprise me if Xigbar gave Isa the X-shaped scar. Other than Xemnas, he was the only one in the Organization who was confirmed to know about Xemnas’ desire to turn people into vessels. I think Even probably knew as well, but I just can’t see him giving Isa the scar.

Xemnas disappeared nearly before he heard his order acknowledged.

“Don’t let us down now, kiddo. Shouldn’t be too much trouble without a heart,” Xigbar told Saïx.

Then he was gone, too. Alone in the Round Room, Saïx raised his eyes to the high domed ceiling.

Braig? Definitely. I think he was the main abuser of Isa. I think he used a “lead arrow,” so to speak, and turned Isa’s love into hatred and indifference.

Saïx: Something at Castle Oblivion changed you. Does the past mean nothing to you now?

Since Saïx had Isa’s memories, he no doubt would have told Axel who his main abuser was. Not to mention Braig probably abused Lea as well.

Given the right memories, the Replica could mimic the powers of the original. Which meant that if he were implanted with somebody else’s memories, he would, hypothetically, gain other powers. Somebody’s—or maybe even a Nobody’s. He had one particular Nobody in mind. All the members of the Organization were still influenced by the memories of their human lives.

Personally, I think Axel was talking about Xigbar here in the novel. I definitely think Axel wanted revenge on Xigbar. And I like that Cupid’s Arrow is Ultimate Gear. In that same weapon class is Saïx’s Horoscope, which has the symbols for Venus and Cancer. Venus in Cancer is basically the astrological correspondence of ultimate love and affection. If it shows up in your horoscope, your love life is looking good.

Another one of Xigbar’s weapons is called Crime and Punishment. It refers to an 1866 novel by the Russian author Fyodor Dostoyevsky. It is about the mental anguish of a destitute man plotting to murder an unscrupulous pawnbroker who ripped him off, and contemplating whether or not going through with the plan will be worth the risks involved.

He grows increasingly his nihilistic, and believes that killing would benefit society, therefore justifying that crime and others. After committing murders, his isolation grows because of his intense guilt and the half-delirium into which his guilt throws him. Over and over again, the man pushes away the people who are trying to help him, and then suffers the consequences. In the end, he finds the total alienation that he has brought upon himself intolerable.

Day 117: Him and Roxas

Roxas is maturing at an impressive rate. His face, the way he handles the Keyblade, it’s all exactly the same. The worlds seem so divided and alone, but there’s always that steady thread there to connect them. And we Nobodies can never escape the things we did as humans. So it goes.

Xigbar does seem to have some guilt about what he did to Roxas/Ventus deep down. He says that Nobodies can never escape what they did as humans. He knows that what he’s doing is wrong. Everything he did was so that he could gain Master Xehanort’s Keyblade.

Q: What happens to Lea hereafter now that he has become a Keyblade wielder?

A: Lea, having returned to his human form, chosen by the Keyblade. Does him getting a Keyblade have anything to do with his best friend Roxas? And is there a possibility that Lea’s become one of the protectors of Light?

Yet Lea was able to wield because of how strong his heart was, and due to his desire to save his friends, including Roxas/Ventus and Isa, two people whose lives he helped destroy. And although this idea is never followed up on, in the KH3D Ultimania, Nomura suggested that Roxas had something to do with Lea’s ability to wield the Keyblade.

I’m really not convinced that Xigbar’s suicide at the end was always supposed to just be a ruse. In the original version of the story, I think he actually did decide to end his life. And I would have preferred that outcome rather than “Well, he was never really Braig, and he was just pretending to be a power-hungry bastard the whole time, lololol!”

Axel: Try not to bungle everything while I’m gone.

Xion: Now, why would we do that?

Axel: Well, considering your track record…

Xion: Hey! Don’t make me come over there!

I also really liked Roxas and Xion when i played Days. For me, Xion was everything that Kairi should have been from the beginning. The way Kairi was written always felt unintentionally sexist to me. I think the female writer for Days, Tomoco Kanemaki, really helped in the writing of that game’s female protagonist. It was a very good idea to bring her on board. Plus she’s an excellent writer, based on the KH novels.

Axel: Well, even if things change, we’ll never be apart–

Xion: As long as we remember each other…right? Don’t worry, Axel–we got your hokey speech memorized.

Axel: Just checking.

Xion jokes and teases Roxas and Axel, but never in a mean-spirited way. She’s very pure-hearted, sweet, and feminine. Which can often come across as annoying for me, if the writers are not careful. Kairi was a Princess of Heart. She’s very pure and filled with light. But we were mainly TOLD this fact about her character, rather than being able to see it through her actions. Which came across as…kind of annoying.

But Xion’s character never felt sexist to me. Her interactions with her friends felt far more charming and personable than Kairi’s interactions with Sora and Riku ever did. She was written with such sincerity.

Roxas: Just feels strange, that’s all. Usually, I do all the worrying over you. I don’t think it’s ever been the other way around before.

Xion: Well, for your information… I worry about you all the time, Roxas.

I liked how she responded to Roxas. She worries about him all the time. Kairi also worried about Sora, but she always felt like a passive participant in the story, instead of an active one.

Kairi: Who are you? And that’s not my name. I’m Kairi.

Roxas: Kairi… I know you. You’re that girl he likes.

For the most part, Kairi existed in relation to Sora, and only Sora.

Kairi: What are you going to do with us?

Saïx: You’re the fire that feeds Sora’s anger.

Kairi didn’t get to actually DO things. Things happened TO Kairi. Xion had a lot more agency as a character. You’re invited to put yourself in her shoes, and understand how she’s feeling in a way you never are with Kairi. She’s a subject instead of an object.

Kairi: I can’t help?

Sora: You’d kind of be in my way.

Kairi: Hehe. Okay. You win.

I also liked that Xion being able to fight was just taken for granted by the story. It’s not treated like it’s a big deal, just because she’s a girl. It’s just normal, like how it was with Aqua. On the other hand, Kairi always got treated by everyone like she was made of glass.

Day 352: What I Must Do

Riku gave me this time. Axel told me to spend it thinking for myself. The Organization is determined to erase either me or Roxas. They’ll never allow us to coexist. I love Roxas and Axel. I’m sure Saïx would scoff at that. Call it a trick of my artificial memories. But the time I spent on that clock tower was real. I wish the three of us could stay together, just like this, forever. But I have to end this. I’ll never forget today’s sunset. Even if Roxas and Axel do, I won’t forget.

Xion said that she loved Roxas and Axel. I found that really touching. Kairi was introduced to the story in KH1 mainly as the girl that Sora and Riku were competing for. She was more of love interest than a protagonist.

Kairi: You know, Riku has changed.

Sora: What do you mean?

Kairi: Sora, let’s take the raft and go—just the two of us!

Sora: Huh?

Kairi: Just kidding.

She never had any chemistry with Riku as part of their trio, and her role in the story diminished as his grew. In KH1, Sora and Riku’s animosity towards each other is fueled largely by Riku’s possessiveness toward Kairi, which I didn’t like.

Riku: Deal? The winner gets to share a paopu with Kairi.

Sora: Wha… Wait a minute…

She was treated more like a prize for Sora and Riku to compete over than a valued friend. It just felt sexist to me. And I think it’s why Riku and Kairi barely interacted after KH1. I actually felt very sad when Xion disappeared. I felt an attachment to her, whereas I felt nothing but irritation (at the writers) when Kairi “died”. I connected with Xion in a way I that I was never able to with Kairi, because she was written like a real person instead of love interest.

After playing KH3, my feelings towards Roxas and Xion are…complicated. I know this is kind of an unpopular and controversial opinion in the fandom, but…I didn’t want either Roxas or Xion to come back. Even though I loved them both. Frankly, I don’t think they really “work” as stand-alone characters. Plus I was never fond of all of these identical characters running around simultaneously. Roxas and Sora look and act different enough. But Roxas and Ven? Many people seemed to like the scene where they meet and exchange an awkward glance. But for me it was just…stupid. Plus I think bringing them back ruined the poignancy of their story arcs.

Despite Xion being formed from Sora’s memories of Kairi, she felt very distinct from Kairi, due to the superior dialogue quality in 358/2 Days. This was both a good and bad thing.  

Kairi: Who’s this new Riku and where’s the old one?

Riku: New me?

Kairi: Yeah. You’re more like Sora.

Riku: Should I be flattered? I try too hard to be the role model. It’s more fun to just listen to my heart. Which is Sora-esque.

Kairi: Well, we still like you. Master, I came here because I wanted to help somehow. What can I do?

Honestly, I was just hoping that Kairi would have been written more like Xion going forward. I didn’t actually want to see Xion come back. I think that was always the plan, since Kairi certainly was in need of better characterization. And after Days, Kairi’s personality actually was more like Xion. I found her far more charming in KH2.8 and KH3 than I ever found her to be in any of the other games. They tried to give her more chemistry with Riku, who is supposed to be one of her best friends. I know the damage had been done by this point, but I appreciated scenes like this nonetheless.

Lea: Now that we’re going back, I’m worried about everything.

Kairi: Well, you don’t have to worry alone anymore, Axel.

I found her relationship with Lea so enjoyable, too. She was like his little sister. Kairi’s relationship with Lea felt just like Xion’s relationship with him. Xion promised she’d never forget Axel, after all. Unfortunately, this had the effect of making Xion’s return feel even more unnecessary and redundant to me. I feel the same way about Roxas.

A common opinion I hear is that Roxas is so much “darker” than Ventus, and therefore they cannot possibly be the same person. I agree that Roxas showed a darker side to his personalty than Ventus did. After all, Ventus had his darkness artificially extracted from him. But my response is: that’s what character development is for. What, did everyone think that Ven was going to remain the same naive kid until the very end the story? Even if he regained his memories as Roxas? Even after learning that Xemnas was Terra?

What was the whole point of Vanitas then? He’s Ven’s shadow self. These games are heavily inspired by Jungian philosophy, very much like the Persona series actually. Probably why I love both series so much. They even have the yellow eyes thing in common. The boss fight in KH3 was against Aqua’s shadow self. She was the embodiment of all the repressed, subconscious dark thoughts Aqua would be too ashamed to admit consciously.

Part of her IS angry at Mickey for abandoning her back then. She IS filled with so much despair that she wants others to feel it, too. That’s what made her shadow so interesting. I wish we had gotten to fight Shadow Terra, Shadow Riku, Shadow Isa, etc. I’m sure they’d have plenty of interesting things to say.

Quasimodo: Master Frollo–he made me live inside the bell tower, but the real walls were the ones I built around my heart. You helped me see that, Riku.

Riku: I was…speaking from…personal experience.

Phoebus: I’d say you still keep a lot locked inside.

Esmeralda: We all do that sometimes. There are just some things we need to keep separate from the world at large, at least until we have time to figure them out.

Personally, I never felt like Riku was finished dealing with his pain. His character arc was far from over. I think he needed to confront his feelings of jealousy towards Sora and his shame over getting possessed by Xehanort’s Heartless. What Dark Riku was saying in KH3 had some truth to it. Riku was always so competitive towards Sora because he felt inferior to him. Learning his darkness was part-Terra would definitely help him forgive himself. Of course that never happened.

Xehanort: Master Eraqus, you see, is so afraid of darkness, that he too, hassuccumbed–not to darkness, but to light. It shines so bright, he forgets thatlight begets darkness. And Aqua and Ventus, their lights shine too bright. It is only natural that they cast shadows on your heart.

Part of Terra does believe that Aqua and Ven are too bright for him. He pushed them away because they made him feel ashamed of himself. I’m sure his shadow self would try to push Ventus away while he tried to use the power of waking on him.

That would have been the perfect time to introduce the idea of Saïx’s jealousy. Let’s assume they stuck with the idea that Isa sacrificed himself for Lea. I tweaked his dialogue a tiny bit:

Saïx: “I sacrificed everything for you. You’re the one who went off and made other friends. Left me in the dust. I lost…all sense of purpose.”

Personally, I don’t think Saïx himself was jealous of Lea’s friendships with Roxas and Xion. Shadow Isa would be another story entirely, though. His captured heart was influencing Saïx subconsciously. I think that was why Anti-Saïx was included as a boss in 358/2 Days, along with Anti-Riku. 

Saïx:“Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.”

I absolutely think he’d feel abandoned and forgotten by Lea. Axel left the Organization to chase after Roxas, while his heart was still left in Xehanort’s clutches. I think his shadow self would have a lot to say on that matter.

Aqua: A pure heart filled with light… It’s strange, The Master taught medarkness needs to be destroyed. But how, if not with light?

Fairy Godmother: Oh, my dear, you’re too young to know. Experience more things, and you’ll find the answer. Just trust in your dreams.

BBS was trying to send the message that darkness isn’t necessarily bad. OBVIOUSLY Ven was going to have to face his dark side and accept it as part of himself, too. That’s what Jungian psychology is all about. Of course like so many other things, that never happened. Probably because Roxas’ return made it pointless, if he’s supposed to be the “dark” one.

Part of me is surprised (and relieved) they didn’t redeem Vanitas and give HIM his very own replica, too. But yeah. These games are BIG on Jungian philosophy. Well, Xion and Roxas were envisioned as personas of other characters—not unique characters unto themselves. And that’s all they ever felt like to me. I never understood the idea that they deserved to be their “own people”. They already were.

To me, what made Roxas and Xion valuable to the story, was that they were alter egos of two of the main characters: the Guardians of Light, Kairi and Ventus. Even though they disappeared, their character arcs would have continued on. They would have given those two characters SO much additional development if they had been accepted and reintegrated as personas of Ven and Kairi. What does having BOTH Kairi and Xion around offer to the story? What does having BOTH Roxas and Ventus offer?

Naminé: One day, Sora will have to call them to the surface. They’re important memories…but very dangerous ones.

Mickey: Dangerous how?

Naminé: These memories are too painful. Handled the wrong way, they could damage Sora’s heart–even break it. I needed you to find a way to face that kind of hurt. That’s why I left the message.

Sora was supposed to confront the memories in his heart. The people’s whose memories were inside of him needed relief. The memories needed to go back to their rightful place: Kairi and Ventus. And Ansem the Wise’s experiments were all about the heart and its connection to memory. Sora was robbed of meaningful character development because of this, too. He never confronted these painful memories nor did he have the opportunity to grow from it.

I agree with Nomura. I think there ARE “too many” characters. It prevented them from getting properly developed. KH3 had little in the way of meaningful character development. And I doubt Nomura can really give Ven or Kairi much in the way of interesting development now that their alter egos are back. Their relationships with Lea already got sidelined. Ventus’ was even worse than Kairi’s, though.

Ven: Already?

Lea: I’ll see ya when I see ya. After all, we’re friends now. Get it memorized.

Ven: Okay, Lea.

Lea’s comment made Ventus very happy. Immediately afterwards, Lea tells Isa that inside people’s memories, he can live forever. This exchange felt very meaningful. I do believe that Axel took such a liking to Roxas in Days because he recognized him as Ventus. Yet what was the impact of their fateful meeting?

Lea: You remember me?

Ventus: Yeah, ‘course! We’re friends. I can’t believe you became a Keyblade wielder just like me.

Lea: Yeah…

Sora: Axel, you know Ven?

Ventus: Axel? Who’s Axel?

Lea: See, see, see? Major brain-ache.

It was rendered so…pointless thematically. Lea was obviously fine with Ven being Roxas. He was clearly hoping that Ven would remember their time together in the Organization. But ‘twas not to be. It honestly felt to me like much of Axel’s dialogue in KH3 was just Nomura parodying how ridiculous the story has become. Nomura even said in an interview that he has a hard time remembering who’s met who. It’s like he just threw his hands up and didn’t even care anymore. So he’s turning everything into a big joke.

Axel’s whole character arc in KH2 was trying to bring back Roxas, then deciding he had no right to turn Sora back into a Nobody. He sacrificed himself to atone for his actions. Of course, it wouldn’t feel right to simply have Axel form a friendship with Sora to carry on his friendship with Roxas. They were too different. Ventus’ story arc was the perfect way to bring Roxas’ heart back, allowing Lea focus on a new goal this time: bringing back Isa. As I mentioned earlier, Nomura implied that it was Roxas who gave Lea the ability to use the Keyblade.

Roxas: Hey, Axel. You haven’t forgotten? You made us a promise.

Axel: I did?

Roxas: That you’d always be there…to bring us back.

Axel: “Oh yeah…”

Roxas: “Got it memorized?”

Axel: “The promise of two best friends.”

I think that’s why he had a dream of Roxas before he woke up. Roxas’ legacy as a Nobody was to pass on the ability to wield the Keyblade to his best friend Axel. Then Axel would be reborn as Lea and reunite with Roxas, who would be reborn as Ventus. Neither knew each other’s past in Days. Roxas had amnesia and Axel kept everything secret.

Axel: You really think the truth is going to make you feel better? It won’t.

Roxas: What makes you so sure? I have a right to know who I am! How did I  get here? Why am I special? Where did I learn to use the Keyblade? I deserve those answers!

Axel: Roxas…

Roxas: Are you gonna tell me or not? Axel… Who am I?

Axel: You’ve just gotta trust me, Roxas.

Roxas: I don’t.

Axel: Hey, c'mon…

Roxas: If I can’t get answers here, I’ll get them somewhere else. Somebody knows where I came from. That’ll be the person I trust.

Axel said that learning about his past wouldn’t make Roxas feel any better. Maybe that’s true. Maybe not. But the real reason Axel didn’t want Roxas to know about his past because he was afraid that Roxas would leave him. Although his reasons were sympathetic, Axel was wrong to lie to Roxas. And he knew he was wrong. He felt guilty about lying. Roxas did have a right to know the truth. This creates a chasm between them and it is the ultimate cause of their relationship falling apart.

Roxas: I wonder what kind of guy I was before…

In KH3, it felt like the characters were being forced into stasis and not allowed to truly grow or mature. If anything, they were regressing. In Days, Roxas didn’t WANT to be his “own person”. He wanted to learn about his life and identity before becoming a Nobody. He was jealous that Axel had memories of his past before the Organization. So the idea of Roxas coming back and having no real past or life history outside of the one year he spent as an Organization member just didn’t sit right with me.  

And Roxas and Axel will never have to overcome the issues that made their relationship fail in the first place. Axel needed to accept that it was okay for Roxas to remember his past before the Organization. And Roxas needed to trust Axel. If Axel was reborn as Lea and Roxas was reborn as Ventus, they’d finally learn each other’s past and find out that they have so much in common. A loved one from their past is being used as Xehanort’s vessel. Then they’d be able to develop a much more open and healthy relationship and grow a lot closer.

Ventus: You’re here…

Terra: I heard you too, Ven. You found me, just like you promised.

Ven made a promise to Terra that he’d be there when Terra really needed him. And Axel made a promise to Roxas that he’d always be there to bring them back. It was a promise of two best friends. Immediately afterwards, Lea goes and searches for Isa. He still didn’t know at that point that Isa was Xehanort’s vessel. But his friendship with Roxas inspired him to not give up on any of his best friends. In KH3, it could be shown that Axel’s loyalty inspired Ventus to keep his promise to Terra, too. Then their meeting in BBS would have actually been meaningful.

In KH3 we just get a rehash of KH2 where Axel is looking for Roxas. Only this time he makes no progress on that goal, nor does he develop as a person along the way like he did in KH2. He just felt so utterly useless to the story. Literally everyone in real life I know who played KH3 complained about how useless and unimportant Axel was. Even Axel acknowledges how useless he is in KH3. My intention is really not to bash Roxas and Xion. I liked them. But since Lea and Isa are my favorite characters, I admit I do have quite a bit of saltiness towards the preferential treatment Roxas and Xion received from the story in KH3.  

Their return just felt so…contrived. I didn’t even find the trio’s reunion emotional due to how forced it was. Xion just randomly shows up out of nowhere and starts bawling, and Axel brings up ice cream. It felt like the writers were trying way too hard to make the scene emotional. But it had the opposite effect on me. That scene came across as cringe-worthy because it felt so pandering and fanservice-y. And now they need DLC just to properly explain why they are back.

—Was Lea insisting on being called Axel so that when Roxas came back he would recognize him?

Nomura: Yes, but also because when he saw Kairi as Xion, he remembered that there was someone he was supposed to remember, which made him feel that being called “Axel” was important.

I also have mixed feelings about Lea wanting to be called “Axel” and staying in his Organization cloak.

Mickey: But gosh, I didn’t expect you to save us…Axel.

Lea: Axel didn’t. My name is Lea.

In KH3D, he made a big deal about his name being “Lea”, not “Axel”.

Lea: Axel? Please. The name’s Lea. Got it memorized?

I don’t think it was really necessary, but I can see him maybe wanting Kairi to call him Axel if he subconsciously remembers her as Xion. But everyone else?

Riku: Why are you here, Axel?

Lea: No, I told you my name’s– Agh, whatever, Axel, fine. Now let’s get outta here!

It annoyed him when they still called him “Axel”. He only tolerated it begrudgingly. After all, it’s the name Xehanort gave him to symbolize the death of “Lea”. I don’t think he’d be too fond of going by that name at all, especially once he learned the full truth about the Recusant’s Sigil.

Originally, I think he wanted to stay in the black cloak because of Isa. That makes total sense to me. But since that idea was scrapped, it felt more like Square was afraid of having his character go by a different name or look too different from before, since people who haven’t played any of the games since KH2 might be put off by that.

Then, there was the final boss battle with Saïx. Roxas and Xion are back now. And honestly I had no idea how the game wanted me to feel about Isa at that point. It may have sounded like an afterthought, but Lea still said he wanted to bring him home, too. Am I supposed to care about him as a friend of Lea? Or am I supposed to take pleasure in seeing Roxas and Xion “clobber” him, the same way I’m supposed to when Sora defeats Xehanort?

Roxas and Xion are popular characters; I get that. I knew how much fan demand there was to bring them back. And it concerned me because I couldn’t imagine how they could return in a way that actually made any sense. And it was as I suspected. We got the stupid Replica nonsense in KH3 to make it happen. But it was way worse than I feared. They had to throw Isa’s entire character arc by the wayside to make room for Roxas and Xion.

Roxas, Axel, and Xion get a tearful reunion, but poor Isa was just left as a vessel… totally forgotten about. Lea said that he never forgot Isa, but he did. Sometime between KH3D and KH3, to be precise. Roxas and Xion even look at him with pity. I almost got the sense that the scene was meta-commentary. Like Roxas and Xion felt guilty about how badly his character had to be destroyed to allow them a place in the story. And Isa certainly did get left in the dust in order to focus on Lea’s other friends, who had more popularity in the fandom.

In canon Isa suffers from a bad reputation, because of how Saïx treated Roxas and Xion. But it was plain as day to me that Isa in BBS was NOTHING like Saïx! I always assumed that was the whole point of meeting Lea and Isa in BBS. To show how different they were as humans—especially Isa. The audience never knew that Saïx in KH2 was just a vessel for Xehanort, and neither did Axel. If the truth had been revealed, it would have been a pretty cool plot twist actually.

Despite it being both obvious and heavily implied, the story never even clearly stated that Isa was NOT Saïx. That he was possessed by Xehanort. That he was a victim. The Recusant’s Sigil on his face literally means “death”. And since that concept got thrown in the trash, so did Isa’s character arc. We are never even told how he got his scar. And his personality never goes back to the way it was in BBS, either. It’s funny to me that people thought Roxas was so different from Ventus that he deserved to be his own person. If there was any character who had nothing in common with their Nobody and deserved to be their own person, it was Isa, not Roxas. Axel and Saïx both admit how much he’s changed.

Even in that short scene, it was not hard to see what kind of person Isa was. He was introverted and had a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. But when he smiled at Lea playing with Ventus, you could tell that he was kindhearted. He was just reserved, and reluctant to express his feelings openly. He’s shy, but with Lea around, he’s able to come out of his shell and share a laugh with Ventus while they tease him. So yeah, in my opinion Isa is dead. In KH3, we get left with a watered down Saïx taking on the role of “Isa”, even though they were nothing alike.

The moment where Xemnas is going to finish off Lea, is when Saïx should have saved him, proving that Isa’s heart was still in there, and that he never forgot Lea, just like he said all those years ago. That was Isa’s crowning moment. The very moment that would earn his place eating ice cream with everyone in the epilogue.

Roxas and Xion stole the thunder from not only Isa, but Kairi too. During what should have been her crowning moment: her first major battle. She was so useless and forgotten in her own fight. Her only real contribution is getting kidnapped. Then she was killed off! Apparently to justify Namine coming back? I guess? I was so looking forward to Kairi finally becoming a more well-rounded character. Man, was that a let down. My sisters despise Kairi. They were raging during the ending. They think she’s such an insult as a female protagonist, lol. I just think it’s sad. Kairi DID have potential. But unfortunately it was mostly all wasted…

I love most of the KH characters. But I have NEVER seen a character get shafted by a story as badly as Isa. Even Kairi was treated (marginally) better by the narrative. It was the main inspiration for this blog and why a disproportionate amount of my posts are about Isa and/or his relationship to Lea. In KH3, Skuld took his backstory, Roxas took his role as the friend who Lea would need to bring back, and Xion took his crowning moment of redemption. It was so insulting how the story treated him. I’m sure even the creator of Xion, Tomoco Kanemaki, would be disappointed in how Isa got treated. I could tell by the way she writes the novels that she liked Isa, as well as Xion.